When You're Gone
by Rohmanov
Summary: A Grell and William songfic. Focused on Grell. Appearance of Ronald. WARNINGS: Mentions of MPreg, death, Depression.


Yeeeee!~ Another sad story that even made me sad :/ Anyhoo! Today we have a songfic for William and Grell, using the song When Your Gone, by Avril Lavigne. I though this song would work well for a songfic, but I never did it :( Until Now!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, or it's characters, and I dont own this song.

Warnings: Okay lets see here, *Takes out giant glasses* Okay, we have...Mentions of MPreg, Mentions of a non-descriptive death, and lots and lots of depression. 

And Now, Onwards!

* * *

><p><em>~X~X~X~X~<br>_

_I always needed time on my own  
>I never thought I'd need you there when I cry<br>And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
>And the bed where you lie is made up on your side<em>

_~X~X~X~X~  
><em>

The tears kept flowing, no matter how many times he dabbed and rubbed at his eyes, he couldn't stop them. And when he did, William was back in his mind, forcing the lonely tears back out again. Grell was sitting up in the corner, his knees squished up to his chest, and his head settled in the hollowed space. The house was much quieter now that William wasn't there for Grell to fawn over, or cook for, or ask 'how was work?', or even kiss and tell 'I love you'. William was out helping the dispatch in America rid themselves of a demon infestation, and Grell was asked to stay behind, because of his condition. Grell had tried to argue, tried to convince William his pregnant belly wouldn't be a distraction, but William insisted he stay home, and he would return soon. But that was a whole three days ago. Now, the comforting silence that was so welcomed before, was despised, feared even. Grell needed William there, to hold him, to rub his stomach and joke at him lovingly like he always did, or maybe even cry with him. Grell looked up from his knees at the bed across from him. William's side was clean and looked unused (Not that that was unusual) but William's cleanliness wasn't present. It was just the clean, untouched bedspread taunting Grell, teasing his lonely, fragile being. The tears flowed once more.

~X~X~X~X~

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
>Do you see how much I need you right now?<br>When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missin' you  
>When you're gone the face I came to know is missin' too<br>When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
>I miss you <em>

_~X~X~X~X~  
><em>

Grell shuffled aimlessly around the room. He hadn't eaten at all in days, and he knew that couldnt have been good for the baby, but he couldn't find the strength to eat, much less cook. He hadn't even talked to any of his friends. If only William could see how much Grell suffered without him. Grell had even watched how fast William's strides were, and how many steps he took, so that he could estimate how long he would take. Grell absently rubbed his stomach and stared out the window he was currently sitting by. He felt a slight churning in his stomach and then a soft thump against his hand, and smiled. That was the first smile in four days, and it took all the strength he could muster. Grell finally got up and slumped over to the phone, dialing Ronald's number.  
>"Hello?" The voice on the other end wasnt Ronald, but she would do.<br>"Tell Ronald I need him to come over. Tell him it's Grell." The girl was obviously trying to figure out the gender of the person on the other end, but she answered none-the-less.  
>"Ok." The phone was set back on the hook and Grell collapsed onto the couch, his legs dangling over the arm. Grell couldn't find the will to care anymore though. His heart was in pieces, and were currently burning in loneliness, no matter how many times he looked at Will's picture, the face looked unfamiliar; and it was the saddest thing Grell had ever witnessed. He missed William.<p>

~X~X~X~X~

_I've never felt this way before everything that I do reminds me of you  
>And the clothes you left they lie on the floor<br>And the smell just like you I love the things that you do _

_~X~X~X~X~  
><em>

Even when he walked to the bathroom, he was reminded of William. Will's clothes he had changed out of before he left, lay on the bathroom counter. Grell picked up the shirt and inhaled deeply, smelling the scent he had so long yearned to smell, to hold. Grell had never felt this broken inside, and the feeling wasnt exactly welcomed with open arms. It was numbing, and saddening; he had finally found love, finally was in the process of having a child, and William had to put work before his new-found family.  
>A single, angry tear fell from Grell's eye, his fists clenching and un-clenching the fabric of William's shirt rapidly. But the clenching stopped. And the tears ceased. Grell looked down at his stomach and smiled, a full, joyful, motherly smile.<br>"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry. Daddy is just trying to make money for you, Nadia." Grell patted his stomach lightly and smiled again. 'Daddy'. The title suited William well.  
>Thoughts of titles were forgotten when a familiar ringing noise sounded from the living room.<br>Grell threw open the door and grabbed Ronald into a bear hug, all his fear of being alone and frustrations about Will pouring out in waves of freshly formed tears. "Ronald! I'm...S-So hap-happy to se-see you!" Grell blubbered into Ronald's jacket as he Ronald rubbed him soothingly on the back.  
>"It's great to see you too!" Ronald gave Grell a small smile, but then the look turned apologetic. "He hasn't come back yet?"<p>

~X~X~X~X~

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
>Do you see how much I need you right now?<br>When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missin' you  
>When you're gone the face I came to know is missin' too<br>When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
>I miss you <em>

_~X~X~X~X~  
><em>

Grell pulled Ronald over to the couch and sat down, gesturing for him to do the same thing.  
>"He left. Didnt even consider letting me go with him." Grell felt the angry tears gathering at the corners of his eyes but forced them back down, knowing that Nadia wouldn't be happy with him for them.<br>"Grell, your pregnant. He didn't know what state America was in, and he didnt want you to witness anything too foreign. If he knew that this would take this long he would've stayed. I'm absolutely sure of it." Ronald pulled Grell into a hug and held him there, slowly rocking back and forth rubbing light circles on Grell's back.  
>"But Ronnie, he knows how sensitive I am about being alone! He knows that I was rejected by everyone, even kicked out of my parents house!" Grell clutched onto the back of Ronald's jacket, the tears had started to fall. The tears angry, and sad flowed like the feelings of loneliness poured out of Grell's mouth as he blubbered out all his worry, and even a few cravings he was having.<br>"Ive even been counting the days." Grell mumbled quietly, the sound, as soft as it was, was almost like an echo in the room that had long gone quiet. "Shhhhh, You need to rest, and Im sure you and the baby are hungry. Lay down here, and I'll go make you something nice. Just, don't dwell on it too much and get some sleep. You need it." Ronald unlatched Grell from his jacket and lay him on the couch, shuffling over to the bedroom grabbing a pillow and blanket. He then returned and handed the pillow to Grell, tucking him in cozily with the blanket. "Sleep." Ronald commanded, slipping off to the kitchen.  
>Grell was so happy he had Ronald, he could almost cry. If he had any tears left he would've cried, but sleep sounded much more appealing.<p>

~X~X~X~X~

_we were made for each other out here forever I know we were  
>And all I ever wanted was for you to know<br>Everything I do I give my heart and soul  
>I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me<em>

_~X~X~X~X~  
><em>

Grell awakened a lot less subtly than he had fallen asleep. He awakened to the feeling of light headedness, he couldn't _breathe_. Grell choked on his sobs for air and it made it worse. Grell flailed, tried to let air into his screaming lungs, but he couldn't. Ronald heard Grell's thrashing from the kitchen and rushed into the living room, his eyes wide. "Grell! Grell stop crying!" Ronald forced Grell into a sitting position and lay Grell's head on his chest. "Shhh, stop crying. You'll choke." Ronald smiled when Grell took his advice, and tried to stop crying, before the redhead fell silent as he returned to sleep. "William-senpai wont be happy to hear about this. But this is a sign that you were made for each other." Ronald sighed and lay his head over Grell's. "William. Hurry up."

~X~X~X~X~

_When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missin' you  
>When you're gone the face I came to know is missin' too<br>When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
>I miss you.<em>

_~X~X~X~X~  
><em>

"Thanks for the food, Ronnie. And Im sorry for all this. I don't mean to be a burden, but I needed the help." Grell spoke looking down at his empty plate. The plate made a small metallic noise and produced a wet spot. Grell reached his hand up to his eye. _Oh, he was crying_. He couldn't tell when he was crying anymore. But this time it wasn't only him crying. Ronald ran across the room and wrapped his arms tightly around Grell, his tears spilling much faster than he could take. "Ronnie? Ronnie, what's wrong?" Grell tentatively wrapped his arms around Ronald. "Grell. Grell, Im so sorry. So, s-so sorry!" Ronald tightened his grip around Grell, his frame quivering violently against Grell. "Sorry? Sorry for what?"  
>Ronald finally looked up, his eyes puffy and irritated, and his cheeks red and tear stained. "William-Sempai" A pause. He took a deep breath to try to keep his voice from cracking, but failed. "William-Sempai isn't going to make it back." Ronald buried his face into Grell's neck sobbing again. Grell stared blankly at the wall, his body went numb. The only feeling he had was that of his baby, as it kicked him in the stomach, just like the words Ronald had just said had. He collapsed.<p>

~X~X~X~X~

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><p>So, depressing enough for you? It made you sad, Ne? Well, I hope it didnt make you sad enough to skip over that review button. I love the reviews, and...<p>

I LUFFLES YOU ALL~!


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